


And The World Spins Madly On

by MissYouSoFar



Series: Baby, We Were Born to Run [3]
Category: Cold Case
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:46:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1964274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissYouSoFar/pseuds/MissYouSoFar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy stays long after everyone else has cleared out and the coffin is lowered into the ground. He runs his fingers in and around the letters on the cool marble of Cooper’s head stone and remembers the times he’d run his hands across Coop’s over-heated skin that was slick and sticky with sweat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And The World Spins Madly On

**Author's Note:**

> ANGST [kind of?]! This is intended to be in the Baby, We Were Born to Run 'verse, but it's not necessary to read that for this to make sense. Also, I'm lazy and this is unbetaed, so there are likely errors. Written for becca_67 . ♥ ♥ ♥
> 
> Title borrowed from World Spins Madly On by The Weepies.

He doesn't know what to expect of Coop's funeral. He considers not even going, doesn‘t actually plan on attending. It was a loss for everyone, but he doesn’t know how was he supposed to get up there and talk about Coop and not remember how it felt under the weight of Coop’s body, the sharp, sweet taste of his skin and the way his eyes looked when he was sated and sleepy.

He wants to go to their usual room, at the motel just out of town, and curl up against the pillows and remember Coop's smell, or pretend this is all a big mistake and Coop is going to join him any minute and -- Everything could be something resembling normal again.

He doesn't want to mourn Coop because it can't be real. Coop can't be gone and Jimmy can't have this hollow shape of him in his heart that he can‘t fill no matter how much he drinks, or how many cases he works.

His kids keep asking about Uncle Coop, and he doesn’t know how to tell them that he won’t be coming over anymore. That he can’t. 

Eileen tells them Coop got a promotion and had to moved away. Eventually they’ll stop asking why he doesn’t visit.

\--

He ends up there almost by accident, forgetting that he’s always drawn to Coop, even if he is. . .gone.

Everyone is listening to Father Mack’s sermon, heads bowed offering their final respects when he reaches the shady knoll the Coopers picked for their son. The squad is huddled together even Murphy, watching Mrs. Cooper rest her hand on the closed casket, right where the stars meet the stripes.

“Jimmy.” Sarge rasps quietly. There is a softness in his eyes, like he truly understands what Coop really meant to Jimmy. That he wasn’t just like a brother or a partner. That Coop could have been everything, if Jimmy had just let himself --

Every set of eyes turn to him, and it’s then that he realizes how out of place he must look in civilian clothes surrounded by police blues.

Jimmy dips his head politely in solemn greeting. “I’m sorry for your loss, ma’am,” he whispers to Mrs. Cooper when he comes to stand next to the casket, resting his hand over hers. 

She smiles faintly and puts a hand on his face, thumbing away the tears he didn’t know he’d let slip.

\--

Jimmy stays long after everyone else has cleared out and the coffin is lowered into the ground. He runs his fingers in and around the letters on the cool marble of Cooper’s head stone and remembers the times he’d run his hands across Coop’s over-heated skin that was slick and sticky with sweat.

He imagines what he’d be doing right now if he’d gotten to Coop faster, if he’d gone with him when he asked, or if Cooper had never been shot at all. 

He thinks they’d be in their room, spread out again the pillows. The sheets that were crisp and clean earlier turned damp and messy, and Coop’s back smooth and tan laid out before him like canvas he itched to mark again and again.


End file.
